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I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season! Our Christmas was a quiet one as we stayed home with just the four of us (my father joined the celebrations too). For New Year’s,  a good friend hosted a wonderful dinner party for a small group of friends. NYE is seen as a single person’s holiday – the one night of the year where the singletons of the world get glammed up and hit the town to find someone worthy to kiss at midnight. The idea of spending a bunch of money to be surrounded by blaring music, tons of strangers, and never getting close to the bar in a timely fashion has never appealed to me. Instead I chose to ring in the new year surrounded by good friends… who were all happily coupled.

But I missed my kiss at midnight.

Thus after taking a “lengthy” hiatus from the online dating world, I have decided it’s time to get back into the swing of things. Which translates into brushing up ye ol’ dating profile for the Tess of 2013 (not to be confused with the Tess of before because they are utterly different people).

“About Me and Who I’m Looking For”: Me – Perfect. Him – Perfection.

Done and done, no? Sigh. Shall we strive for more honesty then?

“About Me and Who I’m Looking For”: I have flaws and insecurities aplenty. Please, please look past them and I think I’m perfect. Him – Doesn’t bore me, freak me out, etc.

Too blunt reeking of an extra-strong dose of desperation do you think? OK, FINE. Something in the middle then!

I tried asking my mother and sister once for input on how best to describe me since it is sometimes hard for me to see my strengths beyond my flaws (darn insecurity). However they too are well-aware of those flaws and end up focusing more on who they want to join the family (or not as the case may be). Their ideal declarations would include:

MUST LOVE TOMATOES. (Viva Italia!) And thanks to the most recent election season, MUST BELONG TO _________ POLITICAL PARTY.

I could list supposed “dealbreakers” (religion, etc) but while I have strong preferences, I would prefer to avoid them in case they end up being “tweaked” for the right guy. (It wouldn’t do to have him then read this blog and freak out about these supposed lines in the sand.) It’s all about being flexible people as who knows what kind of guy will be the perfect match.

For a brief moment, I considered including the current version of the profile here. But that thought was quickly negated because I see my profile as private reading material that shouldn’t be shared for public viewing. Which is ridiculous considering it’s out there for hundreds of men to read, peruse, and ultimately judge. (A reality I do my best to ignore.)

Oh and let’s not forget the pictures! Which pictures should I post?! One that show me in the most flattering light but don’t look too pompous or posed?

Oy. Vey. To the bar I go,

Tess, the Lioness

P.S. We shall worry and stress about the next steps (ie winking, poking, and emailing) for another day.